The Norman Quizquest by Goody Heide & Grant Iain

Author:Goody, Heide & Grant, Iain
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
Published: 2024-01-04T00:00:00+00:00

10

Astrid, Alice and Maddie agreed they’d bring their ‘manly’ skills for a test run at the pub.

Astrid wasn’t all that fond of spending time in pubs, unless she had a secondary reason for being there, like a quiz. It always seemed like a poor way to spend time, no matter what people said about socialising. Astrid wasn’t convinced socialising was a worthwhile activity.

This experiment was a different matter, and she felt as though she should try to assume the identity of the person she was pretending to be, like a method actor.

In preparation, she’d had a dig around for some old clothes in the box bedroom upstairs. She moved aside the two-person camping tent she’d not used in over a decade and shifted a box of electronic cables and unused tools. She was distracted for a full twenty minutes by a box of children’s books from her own childhood, including a picture book called Meet the Cavemen! by one Ricardo Bushrat, a somewhat fanciful non-fiction volume about prehistoric human society which was nonetheless filled with richly characterful pictures of various proto-humans doing various proto-human things – ranging from hanging out in the African woodlands, to exploring the virgin grasslands of northern Europe, to sticking their spears in a very surprised woolly mammoth.

Forcing herself to move beyond childhood nostalgia, she looked for and found the box she was after. There was a selection of clothes, mostly from a deceased uncle, which she had worn a few times to do mucky garden work. She dressed in grey trousers and an olive tweed jacket, and tucked her hair underneath her uncle’s flat cap. Obviously her face was bare of makeup, but she drew in some extra eyebrow hair in case her own looked a bit too shapely.

She had decided her male alter-ego would be named Ricardo, like the author of the children’s book. She had no real insights into the personality of Ricardo, but she decided her version liked to visit the pub.

Astrid walked into town, and since ‘Ricardo’ was a man who enjoyed the pub, she arrived early and ordered a pint. Because Ricardo was comfortable in his own company, propping up the bar.

Maddie came into the pub, dressed in clothes that looked very much like her usual attire. But since they were not especially feminine, Astrid supposed that was fine. Maddie’s walk was not her usual one though. She caught Astrid’s eye and approached, stepping very self-consciously.

“Why are you walking like Liam Gallagher?” asked Astrid.

“Huh. Maybe it is a bit like that,” said Maddie. “I copied it from a guy in the street. Nice hat.”

“Your voice needs work,” said Astrid. “Here’s Alice.”

They both turned to see Alice as a man. She had gone out in search of the right outfit, and Astrid hadn’t seen her since the morning.

Alice could not resist making a performance of her entrance. She stretched herself in a lazy motion, then waded across the floor as if she was on the ocean floor, wearing lead boots. She

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